Very Superstitious

Boil boil toil and trouble y’all,

Sorry to be the one to call this to your attention, if you weren’t already aware, but today is Friday the 13th. Olivia pointed out to me that it’s the first one to fall in October since 2017, and the last one to fall in October until 2028 – and isn’t there just something extra spooky about a Friday the 13th in October?

But don’t worry, we’re flipping that on it’s head with today’s Brightside. Before we get into it, though — a sanity check.

Heavy week in the news. Horrifying, actually. Like so many of us, I’ve been struggling to find the words or contribute anything original to this conversation. To all of my Jewish friends - I love you, I stand with you, I am holding space for you.

And if you’ve been conflicted about how to show up on social media this week, same. Reach out to your loved ones, take care of yourself, and stay educated, y’all (in terms of social media “news” coverage - I think Jessica Yellin’s coverage is concise and clear).

Related: if you know anyone from Israel who is in the US and unable to go home - here’s a form that’s being run by NYC for Israeli Democracy matching displaced Israelis with volunteer host families.

Okay. Off the soap-box and into this week’s reflection on superstition …

Love you ❤️ 

I don’t necessarily identify as a superstitious person, but, unfortunately for me, my archives say otherwise. Remember the time I became dependent on my Magic 8 Ball? Or when I got upsold a past-life regression? I mean, one of my best friends is a witch, c’mon.

I consider myself someone with strong faith and a deep sense of agency, most of the time - which is to say, I don’t believe I’m a puppet being played by the universe, but I do believe in larger forces at play. Maybe it’s because of this that some of my behavior does have some superstitious undercurrents. Like how when I’m feeling blue, I walk around my apartment counterclockwise with a stick of burning palo-santo to usher out bad energy. Or how, sometimes, in moments of deep distress, I’ll go sit in a Catholic church and light a candle to say a prayer.

To me, superstition sounds silly, neurotic even - and when you google it, Miriam-Webster backs that up.

When I was originally sitting down to write this, I contemplated what the difference was between superstition and faith. I also wondered, “why am I so quick to deny my own affiliation as a superstitious person when I do identify as someone with a lot of faith?”

When I finally looked up the definition of superstition, I finally understood my reluctance to be labeled as superstitious. Superstition is based in fear. When I think about all the things I’ve shared this year that were clear-cut anecdotes of me engaging in extremely superstitious behavior - it all lines up. I got upsold a past-life regression because I was scared of what the future held and quick to jump at anything that would take that fear away. I became dependent on my Magic 8 Ball because I wanted someone - or something - else to make decisions for me. I seek tarot readings when I’m at my lowest, because I just want to know how to get back on track, or engage in a practice that will validate my low frequency (and the cards alwayssss do).

Listen, I’m not saying these things don’t serve a purpose or that they’re bad, or that we shouldn’t reach for them - I think Tarot is a beautiful and nuanced practice - I’m simply reflecting on the state I’m in when I reach for things and how I’m looking to take edge off my fear or even insecurity.

I think a lot about faith - and I’ve talked about how easy it is to keep when the sun is shining, and how hard it is to find again when the storm clouds roll in. Yet, when we’re in those lower-vibrational states, whether we reach for a tarot deck or past life regression or go say a prayer in a church – it’s important to remember that it’s ultimately ourselves that we’re grasping for. Our higher selves, perhaps, but at the end of the day .. that’s who or what we’re trying to connect with.

It’s a fact that the things we focus on grow. Friday the 13th has always freaked me out a little, and been a day to justify mishaps in the same way I do during Mercury Retrogrades or other unsavory astrological moments.

When we go in expecting the worst, the worst happens. Luckily, the inverse is true as well.

I remember when I was a kid, there was a day where my chin tickled a little. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was distinct - and I asked my mom what it meant. I must have been really young, like 5 or 6, and she told me it meant good luck. Whether it was to shut me up and get me in the car or if she actually believed it, I don’t know – but by the end of that day I had a whole collection of lucky happenings and trinkets to catalog at the dinner table. A bracelet from my cousin, a happy interaction at school. I don’t remember the specifics, but whenever my chin tickles in the same way now, I know I have a good day ahead.

The thing is though, we don’t need a Friday the 13th, or a silly sensation in our chin, to create a bad or a good day for ourselves. We decide - consciously or not - how a day is going to unfold. If we wake up on the wrong side of the bed and stumble into the day grumpy and ruffled, believing the world is against us, the day is going to greet us with that reality. But, if we take some time to pause, even just five deep breaths, to be grateful for something small and decide how we want the day to be - no matter what lies ahead, no matter what the date on the calendar says - we’ll be better for it, and receive a bounty of glimmers that will affirm the magic surrounding us.

People often remark to me that they admire the way I romanticize my life, or capture the beauty in everyday moments. At this point, for me it’s simply a way of being - but it wasn’t always. It’s a choice to look for the good, to find beauty, to attract joy. There are DEFINITELY days I still wake up on the wrong side of the bed and choose to wallow in self-pity, because honestly, it’s just easier sometimes. BUT TRUST ME - even if it takes effort, it always feels better to choose joy.

So, on this Friday the 13th - whether you’re superstitious or not - I challenge you to invite in synchronicity and ease. And to blame anything that goes wrong on the big 1-3. ;)