Self Trust Summer

Hello Brightside babes,

I hope everyone’s gearing up for a great Memorial Day Weekend. Summer is HERE, baby!

After an extremely fun (and finally nice) past week in New York with my friends Daniela + Maxine, I’m out in Chicago soaking up the magic of Lake Michigan and catching up with old friends (Megan Gerspach, I’m coming for you!!!). 

It’s been a jam packed week full of more exciting celebrations - congrats @sunfishnyc on their 5th collection, and to Estelle. for launching fully! More on that below.

If you need some fun listening material for your travels or hot girl walks, might I recommend the Brightsiding podcast and a few others I’ve been lucky enough to guest on lately?! 

• Brightsiding State of the Union - I spill the tea on transitioning out of Google, how I’m supporting myself right now, and what limiting beliefs I had to work through to get to this point 

• My interview with Alexa Myers, the founder of Estelle went live yesterday. We had a GORGEOUS discussion on navigating grief + joy, and she shared more about how her company is honoring her grandmother's legacy while positioning itself to be a major disruptor in the art world. 

• Last week, I was a guest on the Wishing You Well podcast, where we talked about finding joy, what it means to have fun as an adult, and so much more. Thank you to Catherine and Amy for having me. 

• And finally, yesterday I returned to the Art of Blooming with my dear friends Daniela and Mariah to discuss Intiuition vs. Anxiety, and how to know the difference. Which leads PERFECTLY into today’s edition of Brightsiding. So let’s get into it, shall we?! 

Trusting Myself and Letting Go

This week in therapy, I explored the theme of trusting myself and releasing the need for approval from others. This topic resonates deeply with me because, as someone who’s always been on the lookout for a gold star or cosmic sign, it’s challenging to shift my focus inward and trust my inner compass. At this moment, though, that compass is more magnetic than ever, and I’m focused on practicing paying attention to where it’s pointing me. 

The Journey of Self-Trust

In our sessions, we often discuss how I seek external validation to reassure myself that I’m on the right path. I feel like this is a habit that many of us can relate to, especially in our fast-paced, achievement-oriented, internet-likes-driven world. 

For example, when I was on my retreat in Guatemala and on the precipice of deciding to leave my job, I talked to a Mayan shaman, an astrologer, and an energy worker within the same week. All I wanted was someone to affirm my deepest desire, and instead, I got different messages from each conversation. The astrologer and the shaman both told me NOT to leave my job, and the energy worker gave me a refresher on some breathing techniques. 

I ultimately had to accept that no one was going to make this decision for me, and if I continued to delegate the responsibility to someone else, it would just lead to more unnecessary delay and inner turmoil. 

So I’m learning that the most profound guidance comes from within. It’s about tuning into my inner voice and trusting that I know what’s best for me. This is hard work, and I wanted to share some practices lately that have been helping me stay grounded in my inner knowing. 

Embracing Inner Knowing

Because embracing your inner knowing is a PRACTICE, honey. This practice has evolved for me over the years, but here’s what has been working for me lately: 

1. This is a SIMPLE morning ritual that takes about 45 minutes. Note that I don’t use the word “routine.” Routine and habits always make me feel boxed in and rigid, and there’s something about a ritual that invites in sacred, spiritual energy and even magic that makes my mornings feel quite special. 

   1. I make a cup of hot lemon water and journal right away. I wake up to a barrage of limiting beliefs and anxieties, and getting them out of my brain and into my journal is medicinal (it’s not EXACTLY morning pages, but basically). I also journal about my dreams, which always have clues from my subconscious about what I need to reflect on. (Lately, I’ve been breaking up with all of my imaginary boyfriends in my dreams, LOL.) 

   2. Then, I meditate with Sam Harris (Waking Up) and do a quick Melissa Wood Health workout. Getting into my body first thing in the morning has been a freaking game changer, and doing something where I’m connecting my breath to movement is like a cheat code for having a more integrated day. 

      

2. I adopted the following practice after my friend Emily recently recommended this great episode of Mel Robbin’s podcast (I listened to it twice). In her conversation with Dr. Tara Swart Bieber (NOT THAT BIEBER, SIGH), she recommends a simple grounding exercise for when you’re feeling activated. You take some deep breaths and do the following: 

   1. Put your hand to your forehead and say, “Logically, I want X”. 

   2. Put your hand to your heart and say “Emotionally, I want Y” 

   3. And then you put your hand to your stomach and say “Intuitively, I want Z” 

It’s crazy how effective this is - and I ALWAYS (!) follow my intuition. And when all three are aligned, EVEN BETTER! 

3. This last one is probably the most important for me right now. Because I have a major pattern of looking towards others, especially partners, for validation and affirmation, I’ve been practicing speaking to myself as I would speak to my imaginary daughter or partner. It’s been a profound self-love exercise, and it’s helped me bring a ton of compassion to situations where I’m feeling activated. 

   1. A really specific example, I do this when I make myself coffee in the morning. I pretend that I’m making it for someone I love and “bring it to myself” with intention, well wishes, and purpose. Because the morning is typically when my anxiety is the highest, this helps me remember to talk kindly to myself. I would never blame a child or a partner for feeling anxious, so why would I talk to myself that way? It might sound silly, but try it - been truly, deeply transformational for me.

This journey of self-trust is about more than just navigating the opinions of others; it’s about honoring your intuition and giving yourself permission to be your own guide.

It’s a practice (!!!!) that requires patience and self-compassion, but I’m finding that the more I trust myself, the more aligned I feel with my true purpose. If you have any personal practices that help bring you back to yourself—or if you try any of these—let me know. 

Summer Plans and Projects

As we step into summer, I’m continuing to focus on my health and wellness journey, which has been incredibly rewarding. I did [solidcore] for the first time the other day and it felt so good to see the weeks of Melissa Wood Health really pay off! It was so hard, but I was so proud after. 

On that note, I’ve also been finding new ways to work easy protein into my diet, which has been really fun, thanks to a package from Fishwife (so far, my favorite is the Albacore Tuna in Spicy Olive Oil). I also got to check out their pop-up at L’Apartment 4F this past weekend, and I can confirm it’s true that Hot Girls Eat Tinned Fish. 

And lastly, I’m focusing on my financial health. I’m about halfway done with the book It’s Not Your Money by Tosha Silver, which I think is one of the more refreshing takes on money I’ve engaged with in a long time. On Monday, I had a great check-in call with my financial advisor who helped me set a budget for the summer, which I plan on taking off for the most part. My friend Holly also kicked my butt into gear to finally sign up for a High Yield Savings account through Betterment, which was SO easy. 

Looking Ahead

As you all know, summer is my SEASON. It’s starting on such an exciting note! Next week, I’ll fly to Spain for a last-minute trip with my friend Amber to see MISS TAYLOR SWIFT in Madrid (!!!!!). Then, we’ll lounge on the beach in Majorca for a few days. I can’t WAIT. I’m back in New York the following week to celebrate the wedding of my dear friends Harley and Vin before heading BACK across the pond with Hannah to celebrate another epic wedding for our friends Mel and Louis. Busy busy, just the way I like it! So much for sitting still.

I’ll let y’all know how grounded I stay amidst all the summer fun and adventure. Wish me luck. 

As always, I’m excited about what’s to come for Brightsiding - developing some more workshops, growing the newsletter and podcast, and simply enjoying the summer sun. I’m committed to following my heart and trusting the journey.

Thank you for being a part of this amazing community. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me. Let’s continue uplifting each other and finding the magic every day. 

Wishing you all a beautiful Memorial Day Weekend!

With love and gratitude,

Erica (aka Bogs)