The Secret to Being Lucky

I’ve had the following screenshot saved on my work computer for ages. I open it once and a while, usually in between meetings, when I sense an existential crisis coming on.

These existential crises are usually self-inflicted (and completely avoidable) because I’m constantly comparing myself to some better version of me that’s out there somewhere. This version of me is reacting to life’s ups and downs with absolute grace. She’s never a bitch, or lazy, or reactive, or moody. She’s accomplishing her goals without breaking a sweat, and looking cute doing it. She’s perfect.

As you can imagine, this is a surefire way to exist in a constant state of “not good enough.”

When I catch myself there, focusing on all of my faults instead of even one small win, I’m eager to calibrate quickly - to take action, to get back to “the brightside” STAT. But as I opened this quote for about the 120948053th time yesterday afternoon, its essence finally hit me: the real power lies in the here & now, not in some imagined future state.

What I’ve learned recently is that the most powerful thing you can do when you’re feeling activated is to do less. Simply observe, breathe, and remember how lucky you are to even be able to do that. 

When I lead my mindset workshops, we walk through a framework for “getting to The Brightside”. The first part of the framework? Pausing. Every time, I emphasize how this is the absolute hardest part of brightsiding. 

We live in a culture with such a strong bias to action that we rarely afford ourselves the luxury of pressing pause. It feels wrong and counterintuitive. For me, I often think that if I’m not taking action, I’m not “proving to the universe” that I’m trying, and that I’ll be punished for taking a break.

But the point of this quote (to me) is that there’s nothing to prove or do to create luck or arrive at “the brightside.” Letting ourselves be exactly how we are, without apology, is where luck is found.

Rick Rubin (my hero) expands on the power of letting things be in his book, The Creative Act:

“Through detached noticing, awareness allows an observed flower to reveal more of itself without our intervention. This is true of all things. … If something strikes me as interesting or beautiful, first I live that experience. Only afterward might I try to understand it.” 

When I was reading this earlier this week, I came back to this passage at least five times. I so often try to label and analyze my experiences in real time that I end up robbing myself of the magic that comes with letting it unfold.

The Rick Rubin passage served as a reminder that we’re allowed to just experience - we don’t have to label, understand, or take action right away. If we give the thing space to breathe, nature can take over and beauty can unfold. Who knows, maybe some luck even gets sprinkled in too.

After lots of reflection, I’ve decided that my big theme for the year is unapologetic self-expression - which means allowing myself to experience whatever is right in front of me instead of rushing through it (or worse, trying to intellectualize it).

That other version of me that “has it all figured out” might exist somewhere, but let’s be real … having it all figured out is boring. I’m reminding myself how lucky I am to experience what’s right in front of me - no matter what it looks like. I get to wake up and experience the day, and that’s pretty cool.

I hope your new year is off to a lovely start. And if it’s not - maybe just let yourself pause. You got this.

Rooting for you ❤️