Helloooooo angels! Hope you’re easing back into your routine after the long weekend. I’m coming down from the high of a few days at Rockaway Beach - sore from swimming in the ocean, skating on the boardwalk, full of tacos and lobster rolls and one too many rum & cokes if I’m being honest.

Sunday at the beach was a little rainy, so we indulged in the delicious pastime of a movie marathon. Somehow, I’d never seen She’s All That (how??) and my girlfriends enjoyed culturing me with a viewing (I deeply identified with Laney Boggs for reasons including but not limited to her last name). We also watched Do Revenge, which was smart and hilarious.

Early next week Hannah and I are headed on a road trip to Prince Edward Island for Sommo Fest - wish us luck! We’ll be jamming to my latest & greatest playlist and listening to lots of audiobooks. If you have any recos, hit me!

A quick PSA: my last few Brightsides were getting sent to spam folders. If you want to read the last few - you can check out the latest in my archive!

Today’s Brightside (from a brand new platform, eee!!) is all about what it means to feel “swirly” and what to do when you’re in a tough headspace. Hope you enjoy. ❤️ 

Lessons in Swirling

I have a pretty colorful lexicon, full of words I latched onto in AP-English, slang I pick up from TikTok, and some terms that I’ve just fully made up. Over the years I’ve come to be known for my Bogsisms (using “despacito” as a verb, overusing things like HYFR, and you can bet your bottom dollar I was a heavy user of ermergerdddd back in 2012). I love language, being silly with it. If any of my fellow book nerds read “Frindle” as a kid - that character arc was basically my fantasy (he made up a word and eventually got it in the dictionary).

One of the words I’ve been using a lot lately - particularly in answer to banal questions like “How are things?” - is swirly. Things. Feel. Swirly.

I’m sure you can kinda catch the drift of the sentiment, but allow me to explain.

When I say things feel swirly - things feel chaotic, frenetic, and misaligned. And I don’t even have a mercury retrograde to blame it on! Life is just life-ing.

When I’m in this headspace I feel like I’m running a million miles an hour, toggling between 42 tabs in my brain and only spending about 30 seconds on any given task at once. I’m the human embodiment of this emoji: 😵‍💫

As you can imagine, this headspace only attracts more swirl and chaos.

For example a few weeks ago, in the midst of a particularly swirly day, I found myself at my dining room table losing my grip. It was mid-morning, I was working from home and trying to bounce between work emails and website updates and scheduling an appointment to get my tires checked out and also YouTube how to change out the filters in my AC units. In short, ADHD was in full swing and I was not okay.

I needed to get my head on straight. I paused the email I was writing, opened the Waking Up app on my phone, threw on a meditation and closed my eyes. About 5 minutes in, I stretched my arms out in front of me (I’m fidgety) only to knock them into my water bottle and spill an entire 32oz Nalgene onto my laptop.

Yes. 32oz of fresh NYC tap water, straight to the MacBook. Love that for me.

My god is hilarious - and fair, I’ll give her that. I could almost feel her laughing at me as I looked down at my meditation crime scene, giggling, shaking a finger, scolding me - “Meditation is not a bandaid! How many times do I need to remind you!”

When things feel chaotic - as a New Yorker, that’s basically always - prioritizing the things that keep my mind clear like meditating, going to yoga, and taking a morning walk are, ironically, the first things to fall to the wayside.

Of course, they are. I understand how these things are so easily deprioritized. Pausing feels counterintuitive when we have a million and one things on our plate. When I get in that headspace, it feels like pausing isn’t even something I deserve to do until after I’m done with all the work (don’t worry - my therapist and I are all over that one).

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what The Brightside means to me at this point in my life, and at this point with this as a creative project.

I can say, with confidence, that being in this state of chaos and swirl is decidedly not it.

In fact, it’s not a destination at all, really. Getting to The Brightside is about the act of brightsiding itself - working towards alignment, truth, and presence. Looking for beauty. Accessing joy, even in the most unlikely circumstances.

An absolutely critical part of that equation is the ability to take beat and sit still with yourself. Take it from me (and my drowned laptop) - it’s so much better to do this proactively. The alternative is burnout, breakdown, and mediation accidents.

Again - this isn’t easy! But it gets so much easier. Three years ago I could barely sit alone in my bedroom for 30 minutes without having a breakdown - and now, my solitude and space are some of the most sacred parts of my days (when I make time for them).

Here are a few things that work for me, especially when I’ve let my morning routine slip and find myself in Swirl-City, where I’ve been residing for the past few weeks. Would love to know what works for you and how you get back on track.

How to Pause (even when it’s the last thing you want to do)

• Take a walk without headphones

• MEDITATE (but please keep beverages away from your electronic devices while doing so <3)

• Not into meditation? Fine. Put a timer on for 10 minutes and just be without screens for a bit.

• If you have no time: close your eyes and listen to your favorite song. This usually helps me tap into some emotions and recenter quickly. (Related: I love Harrison Ford’s grief strategy in Shrinking - put on some sad music for 15 minutes and just get it out, then keep it moving.)

• Cook a meal. Really mindfully. Put your phone down and cook yourself something nice with the intention of nourishing your body. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy - recently I’ve been really into this tinned salmon vibe via Lindsey Simsick of Almost 30.)

• And of course, my absolute all-time favorite: TAKE A BATH, BABE. Lately, I’ve been really into Dr. Singha’s Mustard Bath. Delicious.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again - the only way out is through. I hope you can take some time this weekend to be still - even if it’s just for the length of your favorite song.

Would love to know …

How do you make space to pause? Do you find that being still comes easily, or are you fighting capitalist demons that tell you to keep it moving?

Shoot me an email, I’d love to hear from you.