BYEEEE 2021

“Keep your inner world loving and hopeful, and your outside world will begin to reflect exactly that.”

― Cleo Wade, Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom for a Better Life

Well, my friends … it’s the end of another unprecedented year. I love the meme that’s going around that says “I could really go for some precedented times”. I was talking to my friend Megan the other day about how stressful NYC feels with the new variant lurking, and she aptly compared being alive right now to feeling like this. I couldn’t agree more.

I’ve taken a few weeks off from writing - after The Gift Guide went out (which was SO fun to put together), I moved back to NYC and have largely been spending my time recalibrating into city life. I always feel torn about taking time away from The Brightside - scared that if I leave it for a few weeks, it will disappear into thin air, but by this point The Brightside is such a monumental part of me that I know that could never truly happen. So today, for the last Brightside of the year, I’m reflecting on where I’ve been, where I’m at, and where I’m heading.

I hope you’re having a restful, restorative holiday season. I know this time can bring up a lot - good, bad, hard - and I encourage you to make space for it all, and find moments to look back on everything you’ve weathered this year. I’m so proud of us.

Where I’ve been

I started off the year with one goal: to blow myself away. I didn’t have a clear vision for what that looked like, which is probably a good thing because this year has been surprising to say the least.

In January, I embarked on a 3-month coaching program with my beloved Imari who helped me set a foundation for my year that would inspire me to dig deeper, connect with my purpose, and challenge me to define what it looked like to live with true integrity. I am so grateful for the work we did together - it influenced my year in such a big way, and I know I'll carry the magic with me for a long time.

As spring rolled around, I worked on building my website and writing newsletters regularly. I’m so proud of what I’ve done this year - I’m proud of the consistency with which I’ve showed up here, I’m proud of the different types of content I’ve played around with - I’m proud of trying, failing, and growing. I’m proud of bringing the concept of #brightsiding to Alphabet’s Mental Health Conference in October, and most of all I’m proud myself for being fluid with this whole thing through it all.

I also learned a lot of lessons in my personal life. In May, I experienced grief and loss like I've never known when my friend Anna-Christina passed away. She fought like a champion through her battle with a rare type of cancer, and sharing her friendship was one of the honors of my life. I look for her everywhere and try to keep her with me always. Not long after her passing, I decided to make some big life changes and did one of the hardest things I've ever done - which was bet on myself. I left my relationship, moved home to Connecticut for an absolutely transformative six months, and figured out what I wanted my life to look like.

It was an intense summer and fall, but I really focused on healing and getting back to me. It was a beautiful, challenging time that I have profound appreciation for. And now, I'm back in NYC, I've never felt more myself, and I can say with confidence that I have definitely blown myself away.

Where I’m at

As I write this, I’m sitting at my kitchen table in my new apartment in the Lower East Side. It’s overcast, and I can hear sirens blaring and construction noises outside my window.

My main focus is on being present. What does that mean? It’s evolving, but right now it means having a really intentional start to my day and being really aware of what I’m doing throughout the day and why. It means softening to the things I can’t control, and trusting that sometimes there are things that I can’t see yet. It means showing up with integrity, grace, and kindness. And most importantly: staying open to wonder.

Where I’m going

As I look ahead to 2022, I’m shifting my mantra from “blow myself away” to “be blown away”. I am going to continue working hard, chasing my dreams (and oh man, my dreams for this year are BIG) — but above all, I’m committed to looking for the tiny miracles all around. If this year has taught me anything it’s that even in the most challenging times, there is hope and magic to be found, and I plan to embrace that magic fully as we move into this next chapter.

First and foremost, thank you to Sam Cillo, my incredibly talented, patient, beautiful friend for helping me bring The Brightside vision to life week after week. Your ability to turn even my most vague visions into vibrant, beautiful newsletters blows me away. I could not have done this without you this year, and I’m so grateful for your time, attention to detail, and support. I love you.

Thank you to everyone who's written a guest post, joined an Instagram live with me, and contributed to The Brightside. Thank you to Holly, our Witch In Residence -- I can't wait for all of the insights you share with us next year. Thank you Emily for talking about inclusive beauty -- you are such an inspiration. And thank you Fran for joining a live and talking all about your journey with mindfulness and YTT.

And of course, thank you so much for being a part of The Brightside community this year. Thank you for opening these emails, for cheering me on, for indulging in my musings and telling me when they resonate with you. I try to trust that The Brightside will reach the people it’s supposed to - and I hope that these bring something positive and uplifting to your inbox every few weeks. I LOVE YOU!

In case you're looking for some thought starters to reflect on your year - Imari put together this awesome guide (!!!), which I will definitely be using over the next few days.

For my last DLMBT of the year ... I might not be able to resist this bag

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