The Brightside: It's gonna be MAY (sorry, had to)

How’s everyone doing out there? I hope you’re hanging in there! What a loaded few weeks it’s been—the Derek Chauvin trial; Ma’Kiah Bryant; India’s COVID cases. Mollie Chen said it perfectly in her newsletter: “My life is full of joy and I'm so lucky. The world feels shitty and broken. These things can all be true at the same time. We can be ok and not ok. I think the thing to do is keep feeling and doing what we can, in our own ways. At least that's my plan.” Sending light and love to everyone out there.

In my world, the past few weeks I’ve been focusing a lot on my attitude. The Zoom fatigue (well, Hangouts fatigue…) is VERY REAL—last week, my work work week was full of “homesites” (virtual offsites) and it just put me over the edge. Four days of hour long chunks having to be camera on and “on”, it was impossible. I recognize the importance of coming together as a team, but at this stage in the pandemic these things are just hard to land, ya know?

Anyway, I was cranky and my internal dialogue/the way I was communicating with others was not great. I was pretty much just complaining non-stop or beating myself up for complaining non-stop. I think there’s something to be said for a good, healthy vent—but I got to the point where I was like “ok Bogs, we need an attitude adjustment.”

Luckily, I had a trip planned to Boston last weekend (talk about timing!) which was exactly what I needed. I took Friday off and visited one of my college roommates, Fran—we shopped, ate delicious Boston food, and laughed forever (somewhat in thanks to these 1906 drops which I had been dying to try!!! If you’re in Boston, we went to Pure Oasis) and it was just what the doctor ordered. Just a reminder that when you feel like you need an attitude reset, listen to yourself and do that. It doesn’t have to be a weekend trip away, either—sometimes something as small as a walk around your neighborhood or an extra long shower does the trick. The point is: do something nice for yourself this weekend, and be the sun, not the wind.

Also, shoutout Flinn & Nikki for making time to hang while I was in Boston, too! <3 <3 <3

I’m about a month into my rotation at work, and it’s brought up a bunch of old feelings from when I first started at Google. Being new can be really tough, but I’ve learned a lot of things over the past few years that are helping me in HUGE ways as I start up something new and deal with imposter syndrome. So I put them in a list. Enjoy :)

• ASK. THE. QUESTIONS. It’s better to ask a question than pretend you know the answer. Asking questions can feel hard and uncomfortable, especially if you, too, are a perfectionist who really struggles with not being “expert” at something right away. But trust me, ASK. Don’t waste time spiraling, it will only make it worse in the long run. Ask. The. Questions. If you feel uncomfortable asking your boss, find an “ally” who you can go to for a quick ping or point in the right direction.

• On that note, don’t apologize for asking questions. You’re learning, and it’s not something to apologize for. If you feel like you need to say something, instead of saying “sorry to bother you” say something like “thanks for running through this with me again—I just want to make sure I really understand this before responding to this email,” or whatever.

• BUILDING ON THAT, be upfront about where you’re at in your own learning. It’s ok to not know the answers to things—client questions, a ping from someone internally, in meetings—what matters is how you respond in the moment, and how you go about finding the answer. A simple, “let me get back to you with more information” will do! No one expects you to know 200% of everything , especially while you’re starting out. You’d be surprised how generous/patient people can be. The best way to be your full self at work is to talk about where you’re at honestly. It’s more honorable to be vulnerable and real than to be “strong” and fake.

• And, assume positive intent! People want to help you, they want you to succeed. It’s pretty likely that if you’re thriving, they’re thriving, so when you hesitate to reach out to someone to ask a question, or if you’re confused, try to remind yourself that they’re probably rooting for you.

• Same goes for you—be the sun, not the wind. It’s so tempting to send that gossipy ping— and sometimes it’s warranted (and ok, fun)—but trust me, you want to be known for the person who starts a positive dialogue, not a negative one.

• (At the risk of sounding trite) BE YOURSELFFFFFFFF People want to work with you, not you trying to be a carbon copy of someone else, or a filtered version of yourself. If you’re having trouble showing up with your full self at work, take some time to try and understand why—talk with friends, a therapist, a career coach. The minute you start noticing yourself trying to be someone else, sound the alarms. Heck, even send me an email, I’ll talk about it with you. Also, in case you need a sanity check: if you’re feeling truly uncomfortable, there’s probably something going on culturally on your team—even if it’s an invisible undercurrent—that’s making you feel this way. So don’t dismiss your own discomfort.

• Come with ideas, come with opinions. Honestly, I need to be better about this myself. But, read about what’s going on in your industry. Share articles you find interesting with your team, and tell your team whyyou found it interesting. People will respond positively to this initiative and interest in what you’re working on.

• Networking is only as good as the questions you prepare. I feel like I threw a lot of meetings on people’s calendars, especially when I just started working at Google, because people told me to. But I went into those meetings awkward and with nothing meaningful to ask, so they were kind of a waste of time. I think thoughtful networking—reaching out to someone because you want to learn specifically about their skillset, experience, etc. is better than just throwing time on willy-nilly.

This ends today's unsolicited work advice. Go get em, tiger!!

• Fran and I watched the Shawn Mendes documentary last weekend—you know I’m a sucker for a pretty boy pop star. This didn’t live up to Seasons on YouTube (will anything ever?) but it was a good watch. Shawn and Camila tho <3

• The best find of my Boston trip was this An_Erin Face Mask. Insanely cool design - no wonder this designer won project runway!

• I just got Molly Baz’s new cookbook that everyone’s talking about on Instagram—come for the recipes, stay for the visuals!

• Zach and I recently binged The Politician and we. are. obsessed. THE CAST!! When Bette Midler showed up in season two I almost dropped dead.

• I recently bought these atrocious "shower shoes" to wear around the apartment ... and I hate to say it, but I love them so much. SO COMFY.

• My friend Alex and I went to June in Cobble Hill this week, and drank the *tastiest* bottle of orange wine. Our waitress described it as the orange wine that you'd give your mom (aka it's not that funky) - and she was spot on!

• While I was in Cobble Hill, I also checked out Ruchki de Nozhki and got the most luxurious mani-pedi. If you're local, highly recommend.

Get ready for a VERY fun May over here on The Brightside - I’m launching my first ever collaboration with Emily of Damn That’s Glam! Emily started her amazing IG account as an offshoot from her dayjob as a beauty and culture editor. During our collaboration month we’re talking all about beauty insecurities, our biggest vulnerabilities, and how something as simple as washing your face can radically impact your own dialogue with yourself.

Schedule of events as follows!

• WEDNESDAY 5/5, 7pm - Instagram Live interview with Emily talking all about her journey into the beauty world and stepping into her confidence through makeup and skincare. Tune in, I'll be making cosmos!

• Next Newsletter - newsletter feature with Emily, answering YOUR questions! Be on the lookout for an IG poll

• Product roundup addressing beauty insecurities & Emily's tried and true faves!

This Stephanie Gottlieb necklace that just so happens to match the latest Brightside refresh.