The Brightside 1.22

Candy by Mandy Moore 

It came up on a Cody Rigsby Peloton ride. Just go with it, ok?

Hot Take from the Editor:

(a new segment where Sam will comment on something from the previous week's newsletter)

Hi there, editor here! Anyone else still incredibly offended by last weeks newsletter's AUDACIOUS claim that the Justin Bieber's docu series is even in the same LEAGUE as Gaga's 5'2'? No? Just me? That's ok, I'll take this grudge to my grave. Now back to your regularly scheduled Brightsiding

This week started on a weird note for me—I really enjoyed having an extra day off from work, but I was super disoriented, thinking Monday was Sunday. I accidentally missed therapy (AH!) and generally felt scatterbrained and messy. When I get like that it takes SO MUCH WORK to turn around the harsh voice in my head. Monday night was tough. But luckily, the week has gotten increasingly better and I feel like I’m ending it in a good place.

I think a part of Monday’s meltdown though was because I came into 2021 guns blazing with a lot of high expectations for myself. Not even resolutions - just this feeling of having to do all of this “work” and if a single day was not 100% maxed out with productivity, I’d be toast. Leave it to me to set unrealistic expectations!

I’ve always been someone who sets the bar high for myself, and it’s a constant effort to strike a balance between effort and ease (as my beloved Kirra would say). I have this mentality that if I’m not pushing myself to my limits then it means I’m not making progress. Last year, I pushed and hustled so hard to hit a big career milestone, and I loved that energy. It was great having that milestone to work towards. And while I took some time to “chill” at work at the end of the year, I immediately (literally, as soon as I got promoted) channeled that hustle towards The Brightside. Let me be clear; while I value my work ethic probably above all else (thanks Mom for incentivizing me and Stephen to “take the initiative” as kids) — I had a moment this week where I was like GIRL. YOU. GOTTA. RELAX. I tried setting a schedule for myself that just wasn’t sustainable, which only added to my self-induced paranoia, and I had to take a step back.

I’m trying to reinforce the message that I’m on a journey—one that will require consistent effort over a long period of time. Progress is not linear - and I need to show up without expecting crazy “results” in a day. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.

Anyway. We made it to Friday! We officially have a new president and I’m trying to keep my chin up. I was glued to the Inaugural livestream on Wednesday (and seeing Lady Gaga sing the national anthem gave me absolute chills) and like many, I felt the collective sigh of relief as the day came to a close without any interruptions. Let’s pray that these next four years are as restorative and unifying as our country desperately needs them to be. I’m feeling hopeful.

I hope you’re doing great today. I love you, I’m here for you, and I’m so thankful to you for reading along.

So, something that’s on my mind big time this week is product vs. process (especially as I work to find that balance between pushing myself to my edge and finding my flow). I’m really good at big-picture visualizations—at work, anything strategy related is my jam, and for The Brightside, I have all of these big daydreams about “what it could become.”

I know I have the potential to make those dreams a reality, but by focusing solely on the output (the end result), the magic of the process gets totally lost. I have to keep reminding myself what brought me to this outlet (which started with a distribution list of 10 people, I might add!) was that I just wanted a place to be my silly, authentic self and write. Reflect. Be. Create. Get out of my own head.

This week I kind of felt like Hermione in the first Harry Potter movie when she’s stuck in that big gross plant that’s trying to suffocate her. It’s only when she relaxes that she’s able to pass through.

The point I’m getting at: when I’m relaxed and doing this for me is when I put out the stuff I’m the most proud of, and more importantly, when I have the most fun with this. I am trying to build some affirmations & positive messaging into my morning routine to reinforce this idea that I need to trust the process and let shit happen.

Speaking of routines, here are some things I’ve experimented with in my morning routine recently:

1. Reading for 15-20 minutes without my phone nearby. Right now I’m re-reading Big Magic (which is featured as the book of the month for my favorite podcast, Bad on Paper) - and it’s been a LOVELY way to get my head on straight and the creative juices flowing.

2. Doing a few minutes of stretching or a quick Melissa Wood Health video to get into my body

3. Building in some “internet free time” before logging onto email to warm up my brain with some content that makes me happy. (I love Cup of Jo, The Stripe, and Carly the most).

Building up healthy routines is a big focus for me right now. It’s a work in progress, every day has looked a little different, but just having that wind-up time built in before going from bed → work mode has been refreshing.

Any tips for bringing yourself back to your process when you get worked up about the big-picture stuff? Are you a routine person? I’d love to know what works for you.

HIGHS:

1. Learning to drive stick shift!!! I have been avoiding this since my mom tried to teach me in 2014 - saying that was a tough experience would be an understatement. But over the long weekend my mom and her boyfriend were in town and while Jody hung back at the apartment with Zach, (I think there might have been a “what are your intentions” kinda chat ;) ) her boyfriend taught me to drive stick and I DID IT!!! We practiced in an empty parking lot for a while, then I braved the roads and drove to Target. I stalled at a traffic light which was a bit stressful, but I’m SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

2. Movie Marathon: Zach and I had an awesome movie marathon this past weekend. We started with Castle in the Sky as I try to work my way through all of the Studio Ghibli movies, and then watched Palm Springs (trailer) on Hulu which was an absolute fucking gem. I dismissed it when I saw it promoted earlier this year, but it’s actually SO GOOD! A modern day 50 First Dates. We laughed so hard.

3. Finishing touches on our apartment: We finally got a coffee table, and a few things framed this week!

4. GOOD EATS: I went to Eataly this week and grabbed pre-made meatballs & cannolis. WHAT A TREAT.

LOWS:

1. Generally being hard on myself : You know, just dealing with what I talked about earlier. Feeling messy. Bleh.

2. Goodbyes are hard: My favorite yoga teacher is taking a break from teaching! Her classes have been such a grounding force this past year. I completely lost touch with my practice when the pandemic started, and she happened to see an Instagram post where I was asking for tips on how to get back into the zone after a while away. She encouraged me to try one of her Zoom classes, reminding me that what I was going through was totally normal and OK, and slowly, I found my way back to my mat. I’ve been in a pretty consistent routine since June, thanks to that one happenstance instagram exchange, and it has been such a blessing. I am so sad to say goodbye for now, but excited to reconnect with the studio I used to go to (Vera, who has an AMAZING digital platform) and spice up my practice.

3. Subscription fail: Accidentally forgetting to cancel both my Blue Apron and Hello Fresh subscriptions after we switched ownership of meal delivery to Zach. We got three meal kits this week. Fail.

• Enlightened with Laura Dern and Luke Wilson: I picked up an old copy of Tidal Mag with Laura Dern on the cover and read about a show she was in a while ago called Enlightened, which apparently has a cult following. After a few episodes I can TOTALLY see why. It’s only 2 seasons, so if you need something hilarious/cringey in your life, this is it.

• Bridgerton: Obviously, Bridgerton, guys. Theresa, Zach and I binged over the holiday break but I’m rewatching it just to soak it all in. So good. If you haven’t heard of it (are you ok????) it’s basically a period-piece Gossip Girl (but somehow sexier?) and It. Is. EVERYTHING.

• Alexi Pappas - Bravey: If you’re in need of a good read, I just started Bravey which I ordered immediately after reading Alexi Pappas’ interview on Cup of Jo. Don’t think, just order. This poem of hers moved me to tears.

• Amanda Gorman: if you haven’t seen this yet, you have to. Watch the whole thing.

• Of all the inauguration memes, I loved the Bernie Sanders ones the most. Here’s a roundup.

Man, working from home is wearing on me. My days usually start strong, but around 2pm that good ol’ existential dread kicks in, which can be tough to combat. Here are some things that helped me battle my anxiety this week:

• This iconic montage from Legally Blonde: I’ll show you how valuable elle woods can be! (I rewatch this in times of self-doubt)

• PELOTON FOREVER: I went down to my building’s gym for a Peloton ride on Thursday afternoon. Everyone on the internet seems to love Cody Rigsby so I gave his Pop 30 ride a shot and OH MY GOD. The hype is real (and this inspired this week’s on repeat). He started the ride by basically saying “these are the most basic pop songs that exist - I love them, you love them - just go with it” and it spoke to my soul. I feel like he would have appreciated last edition’s commentary on Justin Bieber … anyone know his email?

  • My username BTW is Brightsidebogs. I don't know how to add people, so add me if you ride!

• SANITY WALK: I took Louie on a long walk during an hour-long call on Wednesday. This was a total game changer - instead of staring at my screen and feeling restless, I actually was more tuned in and happy to be outside breathing some fresh air. I feel so privileged to be on a team where that kind of mental health maintenance is encouraged.

Any tips for beating the afternoon slump??

I’m working on perfecting the ecosystem in our apartment. I ordered two of these cute little humidifiers, which have been a good first step, but I’m realllly drooling over a Molekule (and maybe pressuring myself to level up and get one to be as cool as my brother Stephen). Anyone have any reviews? Worth the splurge? I loved Joanna of Jojotastic’s ranking of air purifiers (that aren’t ugly) from last year, in case anyone else is also in search of some air-quality-control tools.

• I am ON THE HUNT for this Jenni’s special edition ice cream.

• I got the coziest cropped sweatshirt from Alo last week, and I basically haven’t taken it off. (It’s more chartreuse in person!)

• The $13 tool that has changed my kitchen-cleanup game (and a more expensive, aesthetic version)

• In an allure beauty box that I got recently, I got this overnight skincare serum with the PERFECT dose of salicylic acid. It has been a GOD. SEND. for my combination skin. I put it on my breakout zones before moisturizing at night, and it has seriously turned my skin around.

That’s all for today, folks! I’ll be back in two weeks with some fun stuff including an interview with my friend Hannah on how she got into glass-work (I am so excited about this!!!), a Galentine’s Day Gift Guide (eee!!!!) and more!

Do you have any feedback for me? Or want to be a guest? Drop a note here!

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